Turning Pages
by The Last Letter
Summary: Alexis asks Castle why she's never been in any of his books.


"Dad, can I talk to you?"

Richard Castle looked up from his midnight bowl of cereal. He met his daughter's bright, sad looking, blue eyes. It was strange, her being up so late on a school night. Alexis was very strict about her sleep schedule.

"Of course, darling. You can always talk to me," he gestured to the seat next to him. "Cereal?"

"No thanks. I just . . . something's been bothering me."

Rick placed his spoon in his milk, and pushed the bowl away. He was going to focus all of his attention on his daughter. "Well, it can't be something that can't be fixed."

Alexis sat down, placing two things on the table.

Rick was looking down at his own books: _Heat Wave _and _Naked Heat._ He felt a slight flush. Obviously she had read them. The books and all the content they held. Like the sex scenes. He knew his daughter knew about the facts of life, but he didn't like to think about it.

"Honey, I didn't know you read my books," he gave the hardcover copies a sideways glance.

"I've read all of them." Alexis tapped her fingers on the top of _Heat Wave_. "I have a question about these ones."

Rick frowned. "Is this what's been bothering you? If it was something I wrote, it's all fiction. It's not real."

"It's not something you wrote, Dad, it's something that you didn't write!" Alexis was clutching _Heat Wave_ tightly, her knuckles turning white. Her blue eyes were very distressed, tears forming along the edge.

"I don't understand."

"Beckett's in the book, Ryan's in the book, Esposito is in the book, you, your poker buddies, even people you've only met once, and some of the victims are in the book. _Gram_ is in the book! Why am I not there?" One tear slipped from her eye, falling down her cheeks.

Rick was appalled. He reached hesitantly out to his baby girl, rubbing along her back like he did when she was sick as a baby. "Honey," he soothed, "it's just fiction."

"No it's not!" Alexis argued, struggling to get a handle on her emotions.

"Yes it is," if she wasn't so upset, Rick might have smiled at the situation.

"No, because everyone is in there. Everyone but me. Am I not good enough for your books, Daddy?" She looked him in the eye, calling him 'Daddy' for the first time in years. "Why are they better than me?"

Rick grabbed at Alexis desperately, trying to throw away those awful thoughts with a hug. "They are not better than you, Alexis. _No one_ in this entire world is better than you. You are my little girl and I love you with my whole heart. I am so sorry that my books made you think these things." He had never thought of his books as awful or stupid or any other derogatory word, but he did now. Right now, he hated those books more than he hated anything else in the world.

"Then why aren't I in the books? You have based your characters, in every book, off of someone you know, but I'm never in there!" Alexis pulled away from her father, trying to catch his eye.

"Yes, and I have a reason for that. When you were born and I was writing my first book after that, I tried to write you in. I tried every time I started another book, I promise you I did. But, I could never get you right. Your character is so perfect, smart, flawless, funny and complex that there was always something wrong with the girl in my books. She was never pretty enough, she was never genuine enough. All the people I write about, I know their base traits and I can translate them into the pages rather well.

"But with you, you're my baby girl. In my eyes, you are untouchable. No amount of words could ever bring you to life on the page, could describe you the way that you deserve. I'm sorry that by not writing you I've made you feel hurt, left out. But never doubt that just because you aren't in a book that you're lesser somehow. You're more than just a handful of words in a book that won't be remembered a hundred years from now."

"Thank you, Daddy." Alexis stretched out, hugging him. She had always loved her father, and appreciated that he understood her more than anyone else, but never before had she been so thankful to have him. So what if she wasn't in his book? He had said she was better than his books, and she knew how much pride he took in his writing and he had said she was better than that. And Alexis knew he meant it.

"I love you Alexis."

"Love you too," with a smile, she went back upstairs, leaving the books on the table.

**Hope you enjoy! Review if you like!**

**~TLL~**


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